That's why we're here. A few sheep and I have come to make it perfectly clear that we will not stop until our friends at PETA hear our case. That's right, we've filed for religious discrimination. You people are the ones who cause wars and spread gossip, who live in riches off the disadvantages of the poor and take our fur for your fancy clothes, and even, I can hardly say it, cook lamb chops for Mother's day dinner, sick… therefore, you have given sheep-kind a bad reputation by association. We will not stand for you ruining our good name with your own philandering nature. Pick on some life form that is more your own character - vultures might be nice or something that reminds you of just what kind of biological hazard you really are.

But I'm not here just to voice my complaints; I'm here to help you understand what it is that you might be forgetting about your own nature. Giving you the benefit of the doubt, once upon a time, you might have been more like sheep. We sheep are fond of the one you call Jesus, and in our holy scriptures, in our rougher periods, sometimes it does say that we were like "People without a leader" so maybe we should try to understand each other just a little bit better and try to settle this lawsuit before the animosity gets out of hand.

Like you humans, we sheep are very social creatures. We generally like being together in groups, taking turns watching the lambs, and not missing out on any of the latest news. We panic when one of our own gets lost or injured. We send out the alerts and try to get help. Sometimes we're successful; sometimes we're not. We need good leaders who will help us watch out for those who are more likely to go unnoticed, the young, the old, those with injuries, or those who seem never to get enough to eat. Although the healthiest of our breed seem to be the ones that follow all the rules and regulations, even they can lose their lives at the hands of a shepherd who doesn't have our best interests in mind.

We have studied your scriptures to try to understand just what it is about you human shepherds that's really so important. We want to understand why you not only mess up in taking care of us sheep, but why you might have a hard time watching over one another. Somewhere early on in your history, you developed the means of farming to get your food, and we were grateful for that, because when you did, you also realized what an asset it might be to have some sheep hanging around in your fields. We were promised comfort and protection for staying inside the lines you drew for us. The benefit was mutual. You took care of us, and we gave you the ability to clothe yourselves with something other than those awful leafy outfits. When you started giving us haircuts, we got to be cool in the summer, and you got to be warm as the woolliest of my Wooly clan in the winter. We had much greater protection from the wolves, and the littlest lambs were no longer such easy pickings.

That only lasted so long. One day you saw how the wolves licked their savage chops and decided to venture into this "meat-eaters" territory. Now we knew that you were omnivores, and that meat one day was going to be a temptation for you. We knew that going into the deal, but what we didn't know was that you could become even more gruesome than the ones who could catch us with their teeth. At least they took their kills from the weakest of the herd. No death is ever pleasant, but we trusted you, and you betrayed us. Many of the shepherds quit watching, or only wanted to fatten up the best among us to try to impress the boss. Once that happened, all of us became vulnerable. The weakest were left as wolf food, and the strongest became prized people food. There was no honor among the shepherds.

Some of us heard rumors that the changes had come from "higher up." The first shepherds did have the sheep's well being at heart, but the greediness of the leaders of humankind grew. The kings that were alternately entertaining one another and then fighting one another had to show off. Sheep were paraded around the palace, and then killed to eat for the fabulously wealthy. I don't know if the servants and the less fortunate of your kind got to reap any of that benefit or not. We feel that many of the deaths of our brothers and sisters have been in vain thanks to your rise as a species to the top of the food chain.

The other horror is that your priests, those who were supposed to be demonstrating the justice and mercy of God, got in on the action too. When the kings became more powerful than they were, they wanted an opportunity to save face, so they began demanding sacrifices. It started out small, a bird here, a rodent there, but soon it grew into offering, you guessed it, sheep to be sacrificed for your sins. We've certainly borne the brunt of your existential angst as a species. Couldn't you just get over it already?

You see, your very own scriptures have detailed our repression. But we know that God has something else in mind for us. We don't worship you humans, that's for sure! Your prophet Ezekiel heard something else from God that later your Jesus repeats. God says, "I myself will search for my sheep, and will seek them out. As shepherds (the good ones anyway) seek out their flocks when they are among the scattered sheep, so I will seek out my sheep. I will rescue them from all the places to which they have been scattered on a day of clouds and thick darkness. I will bring them out from the countries, and I will bring them into their own land. I will feed them with good pasture; there they shall lie down in good grazing land… I myself will be the shepherd of my sheep, … and I will seek the lost, and I will bring back the strayed, and I will bind up the injured, and I will strengthen the weak… I will feed them with justice." (Excerpts from Ezekiel 34)

God has our needs at heart: care for our weak, justice for our herd, and a little bit of clean fresh pasture every day. We are recognizably in that place where we know that we are helpless without God's help. We know that some of our shepherds have not been trustworthy. We have to go out into that world anyway and try to make the best of things and watch out for each other.

You humans have the advantage there. You are both sheep and shepherds. You are the flock, and yet leaders rise up among you from your herds. What you choose to do with that power, your book says, is at least somewhat up to you. God will remind you in some way when you've gone too far. The good shepherd takes care of the sheep, not just the poor and helpless ones, but the good shepherd will also bring justice to those who ravage the sheep simply for pride or greed.

We've heard that Jesus is your self-proclaimed good shepherd, and he calls you not just to trust him, but also to imitate him in his style of shepherding. Perhaps in today's world where shepherding has gone out of vogue in all but the most agriculturally based places, you need a model for sheep-leadership and more instructional videos on how to be compassionate and fair in your care-taking of other people.

But what I really like is that Jesus goes a step further even than God's speech in Ezekiel. He says that the good shepherd does more than just provide good pasture and a watchful eye; the "good shepherd" lays down his own life for his sheep. What a concept! Perhaps this book isn't quite as narrow-minded on sheep culture as I originally thought. Jesus even says God loves him for laying down his life for his sheep. Certainly, we've always prospered when we've had a shepherd who cares for us in the most basic of ways. So, we're actually a bit jealous that you have a shepherd who's willing to die for you.

Like I said in the beginning, we sheep are a little out of joint about your portrayal of us, but the mirror is aimed right back at you. You are the sheep. You are the shepherds. You need to care for the lost and the strayed. You need to bind up the injured and strengthen the weak. And perhaps the hardest job you have is to feed the world with justice. God was not pleased with those who would get fat on the mistreatment of others. Good shepherds bring mercy, but they also recognize when life is not fair due to someone else's sin and then they try to correct it.

One of the most important things you can do, and this will all be negotiated through our legal counsel, is to bring back a "good shepherd" program into your faith communities. How you go about doing that is up to you, but you need to reinstate a sense of divine call to leadership that is not so adversely affected by your pride and greed. Leadership that works on the principle of care for the "least of these" feeds both sheep and humankind. Shepherding that carries out its tasks at the risk of the shepherd's own life, now that's something I think we can all agree upon as a uniquely marvelous idea.

When we can come together and say, "The Lord is our Shepherd," then sheep and people both will be filled with good things and promised hope even in the midst of our darkest valleys. Thank you for your time, and AMEN.