Every once in awhile I get asked, “Why are people meaner to each other in church than they are just about anywhere else?” It’s one of those questions that become very difficult to answer when you are a “churched” person. Sure, I’ve seen meanness in the church. I’ve borne witness to everything from receiving a mean-spirited email to watching fear drive the church toward hatred of a whole group of people – whether that includes immigrants, people of color, homosexuals, Muslims, or just those who happen to think or talk or dress differently than we do. At times, it seems as though church folk can lose their inner censor and allow themselves to drift far from Jesus’ command to love one another.

Now those who live and move and have their being on the outside of the church often use this meanness as a reason for steering clear of institutional religion. According to the latest Pew Forum study on religion, their survey revealed that at least 50% of those who have recently become unaffiliated with any church cite that perceiving church people as hypocritical, judgmental, or insincere is why they have left. So it’s a question we may have to tackle if we plan to woo anyone from this growing category of unaffiliated folks to become a part of the church that we love – sometimes in spite of noticing the same bad behaviors ourselves.

But I wonder, are church people really that much worse than anyone else? Or is it because we claim to live up to an ideal, and then miss that mark that we get viewed as hypocritical or insincere? Is it because we care so much about what we represent that our passions make us say crazy things? Or is it because we want such tight control on what happens here that makes us react so critically and negatively when we don’t get our own way?

One thing that I have observed in my years of ministry, in loving the church like all of you do, is that the motive behind what comes off as meanness is primarily about control. Rather than living by the Golden Rule, we come to practice “Toddler Law.” Toddler Law, says “What’s mine is mine; and what’s yours, is mine; and if it looks like it’s mine, it’s mine; and if I say it’s mine, it’s mine; and if I play with it long enough, it’s mine… you get the point. (Maxwell, p 30-31) But biblically, the Golden Rule teaches us to put other’s needs at least on par with our own. Do unto others as you would have done unto you. When we consider the needs of others rather than over-focusing on our own needs, the critical tongue subsides. We become less likely to go down that path of the typical churchy criticisms. You know those too – sayings like: “We’ve never done it that way before.” “We tried that and it didn’t work.” “No one does THAT at this church.” “It’s too radical a change for us.” “What you’re suggesting is against our policies.” (Easum, p. 11) Well, you can probably think of a few more of those too.

So it is here in this moment that we open up our biblical text this week. You know, some things never change. Peter, who has been on this amazing church-building campaign, goes up to Jerusalem to continue adding to the number of these folks who are hungry to hear the good news. And rather than hearing praise or receiving pats on the back, he gets smacked in the face with criticism from his very own people. The apostles and believers in Judea, jump all over him and say, “Why did you go to the uncircumcised men and eat with them?” Which translates roughly to, “Who gave you permission to change the rules?” Sadly, this criticism comes right on the heels of Peter’s rousing speech that converted a whole heap of Gentile believers, a beautiful speech that started out with him saying, “I truly understand that God shows no partiality, but in every nation anyone who fears him and does what is right is acceptable to him.” Peter was growing the church with the wrong kind of people, and his supporters back home did not like it one bit.

The only way Peter could explain it to them was to tell them about a vision that he had from God. When he was in Joppa, praying, God lowered to the ground this enormous sheet filled with animals of all kinds and asks him to eat them. Now, observant Jews then, much like observant Jews today, would have followed all the kosher laws. Peter would have looked at some of those animals like a challenge from a reality show. They were not, I repeat NOT for eating. In this vision, God says to Peter, “Get up Peter, kill and eat.” It’s an amazing scene really. God says to Peter, “Get your knife, get your fork, get over your prejudices and chow down on some bacon wrapped shrimp already.”

I absolutely love this scene. It’s a weird and rarely taught story of our faith. It’s a reminder to us that the Holy Spirit is always on the move. Just when we think we know, exactly, what the Spirit is doing in the church, the rules get changed. What we thought was unclean becomes clean, what was profane is now acceptable! We cannot now, nor have we ever been able to control what God is doing. And right in the middle of that, we get the reminder that rigidity and religiosity are precisely what will get the better of us. Even Peter was afraid. He resisted God’s voice – three times - the story tells us. Even though he was out there converting Gentiles left and right, he couldn’t fathom breaking ranks with his tradition and eating something from someone else’s non-kosher menu.

But even more importantly, the story teaches us that the vision didn’t get left hanging there. At the very moment that the visionary sheet of animals was hoisted back up into heaven, three men arrive at the house where Peter was. They must have been Gentiles as well, for the Spirit clearly told Peter not to make any distinctions between “us and them.” Peter joined them on this journey as requested and was told about how an angel had appeared to one of the men who told him to fetch Peter so that he and his family could receive a message by which they would all be saved. Peter quickly switched his focus from himself and his traditions to these other people and left his own prejudices in the dust.

The Spirit was moving. Peter was being asked to serve up his own sacred cows with a side of barbecue sauce, and he listened. In fact, the comment he made after this encounter with the folks from Caesarea, was to say, “Who am I that I could hinder God?” Really – now that’s an important insight. After all, he could have chosen to listen to the critics instead of paying attention to this really weird vision. He could have given in to the demands of the apostles and Judean believers by avoiding such contact with the “uncircumcised.” Doing that might have made it easier for the return visit. But Peter represents a definition of maturity here that I really like. Author and leadership guru John Maxwell states that, “Maturity is the ability to see and act on behalf of others.” And this author says the reverse is also true, “Immature people don’t see things from someone else’s point of view. They rarely concern themselves with what is best for others.” (Maxwell, 30) To Maxwell’s definition, I would add that the really big leaps of maturity come when we perceive those others as completely and utterly different, but are able to see from their point of view anyway.

Those who were criticizing Peter were thinking primarily of themselves. They wanted to keep the religion pure, comfortable, and familiar. What Peter was doing frightened them. It was changing the scope of what it would mean to be a believer. Peter instead chose to focus on the “other.” He allowed God to work through him, through this angel, and through some really unorthodox methods to grow the church, or as this story tells us, to reach the Gentiles with “the repentance that leads to life.”

Along the same line, Pastor Bill Easum, in his book, Sacred Cows Make Gourmet Burgers, has said that, “Spiritual gifts do not blossom well in a controlling environment.” The premise of the book suggests that some of the sacred cows in our religious tradition would be best ground up and served up hamburger style with a pickle on the side. He suggests that our insistence on controlling everything that happens in our congregations and denominations, our desire to coordinate everything that happens, or to know about everything before it happens, or to insist on voting on every new issue of ministry leads to us stifling our own ability to bear witness to the Holy Spirit in our midst. He knows the sins of the established church fairly well. We have learned how to criticize and cajole and use our policies and traditions to keep our religion pure, and comfortable, and familiar as well.

As I said before, it’s nothing new. Peter heard such criticism even in the birthing of the earliest Christian communities, and we have yet to discover a way to put a lid on it. But the criticism, that nagging desire to keep the church pure and holy, is not the true voice of the church; it never has been. The true voice of the church is heard when the community of believers recognizes that they have been touched by the unconditional love of God and they can’t help but share that good news. In that moment, they know the gift of salvation and are well on the road that leads to life.

It’s an age-old conflict in religion that I know crosses denominational lines, and possibly interfaith lines as well. It’s the conflict between the keepers of the status quo and the would-be reformers. We are taught culturally that religion takes sides with the status quo. It is an unchangeable force for good. Religious folks are the keepers of tradition, those who value purity, holiness, and who do everything decently and in order. But biblically, to me it seems like God takes sides with the Reformers, at least in times of growth and increasing maturity. When the faith is becoming deeper, wider, and more open to God’s love – the church grows – exponentially, and those who hang on for the ride are the ones who catch the tails of the Spirit and keep on moving.

Growth in the faith is ultimately part of God’s plan, whether that is a growth toward openness that welcomes all people as God’s beloved children, or whether that’s numerical growth that comes from sharing this powerful story of God’s love with those who are hungry to hear it. Stagnation, decline, and controlling behaviors are not in God’s best interest. God will move beyond the church if necessary to accomplish the work of the Spirit. God has done this before – numerous times. The Bible is full of these stories of transformation, and the Bible is sneaky, it doesn’t leave the resistance to that transformation out of those stories. Instead, it’s right there for us as a warning for us not to get too sure of ourselves. We grow toward God when we can let go of our assumptions about what God is doing and embrace all of those places where God’s love becomes obvious.

So what’s in it for us? What will happen if we step out of God’s way? As Peter said, “Who am I to hinder God? There are no delusions of grandeur here. God is in charge and will work with us and in us, or will work right around us if necessary. I know it’s scary to let go, to leave the comforts of Egypt for the Promised Land. It’s hard to imagine that God would make clean what we thought for such a long time was unclean. We’ve learned to be decent, orderly people, and God may be telling us that it’s time to welcome the chaos.

But what comforts me is this: God promises not to leave us or abandon us when we show God’s love to others. In fact, the whole book of Acts is about the expansive growth of the early church, and that growth happened simply because the likes of Peter and Paul told this incredible story of Jesus Christ to those who were desperate to hear of God’s love for humankind. I believe, with all my heart, that faithfulness in the little things, letting our fears go, paying attention to the needs of others, and showing God’s love without conditions attached, are the very things that lead to the growth of the Church, capital C, meaning those who are connected to God anywhere - regardless of what their denomination or affiliation happens to be.

I long to be a part of that growth - the growth that is leading this world to a greater love of God. I want this particular church to be a part of that growth as well. It’s not for any self-serving purpose like raising more money for the budget or being able to put “church growth” as feather in my professional cap. For me, it’s about being part of God’s work in the world. That’s what faithfulness is all about. So grab your knives, grab your forks, and let’s get to work building this table where all God’s children are welcome.

Amen.

Maxwell, John C., Everyone Communicates, Few Connect: What the Most Effective People Do Differently, Thomas Nelson Press, Nashville, 2010.